LANE: Ah, see, cool people know that hes more than a mellow hippie-dippy folkie, that he actually wrote some of Nicos best songs and was in fact her lover before he bored us with "Doctor My Eyes." That will separate the posers from the non-posers.

RORY: Wax on, wax off.

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LUKE: Do they let kids drink coffee before school?

RORY: Why, do you think it might lead to harder stuff? Lattes, cappucinos. . .

LUKE: Forget I asked. [walks away]

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EMILY: Have you read these?

LORELAI: No.

EMILY: Well, you should. Ive unearthed some shocking statistics. I mean, do you have any idea how hot the competition is to get into a school like Harvard?

LORELAI: Well, yeah, its very hot. Its one of the top schools in the country.

EMILY: In the world. People from China, Russia, India, children from every country apply to Harvard. Theres more competition than ever before.

LORELAI: Really, Mom, I know all this.

EMILY: With the dot-com bust and the job market dwindling and the stock market going up and down like a yo-yo, everyone and his brother knows the best chance for success and financial security is not just to go to college, but to go to a top college.

LORELAI: Thank you, got it, appreciate the info.

EMILY: Every child that applies has the same high grade point average, theyve taken the same AP classes, and theyre all on the student council.

LORELAI: Theyre not all that identical.

EMILY: One college admissions officer said that he sometimes puts a random stack of applications in the yes pile and the rest in the no pile because he knows it doesnt make any difference. He doesnt even so much as glance at them.

LORELAI: That does not sound real.

EMILY: And now its the in thing for young Hollywood celebrities to go to universities. What do they call themselves, the Brat Pack?

LORELAI: About a hundred years ago.

EMILY: They get into wherever they want based on name recognition. I was watching TV and that insipid Kate Hudson was talking about going to a university. If she decides to go to Harvard, shell get right in over Rory, who we know is more qualified.

LORELAI: How bout a drink, Mom? You want a drink, cause I sure do

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