TAYLOR: Twenty dollars, do I hear twenty-five?

DEAN: Thirty.

TAYLOR: Okay, see, you boys don't seem to understand the way this thing works.

JESS: Forty dollars.

DEAN: Fifty dollars.

TAYLOR: Excuse me, have either of you noticed how tiny this thing is?

JESS: Seventy-five.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LORELAI: I'm trying to think, uh, in what scenario this situation could be construed as positive.

RORY: Well . . .

LORELAI: Well, no one's head's on fire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESS: I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasnt half bad.

DEAN: Glad you enjoyed it.

JESS: Yes I did. So shall we?

DEAN: Shall we what?

JESS: Shall we go?

DEAN: Go where?

JESS: Go eat.

DEAN: Excuse me?

JESS: The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didnt bring enough money.

DEAN: You think this is funny.

JESS: Well, its no Lenny Bruce routine but it has its moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DEAN: Shes not going with you.

JESS: Really, is that true?

DEAN: Yes, its true.

JESS: Excuse me Edgar Bergen, I think Id like Charlie McCarthy to answer now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RORY: Its tradition.

DEAN: I dont believe this.

RORY: Its true. My mother and I have been doing this every year since we moved here.

DEAN: So buck tradition.

RORY: Are you kidding? Do you remember how mad Taylor was when I was sick and I couldnt go to the turkey-calling contest?

DEAN: This isnt school, youre not getting graded.

RORY: Just dont make this into a big thing.

DEAN: Dont go.

JESS: Oh geez man, shes not shipping off to Nam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESS: Where do you wanna eat?

RORY: Dont care.

JESS: Okay.

RORY: Where are you going?

JESS: Thought you didnt care.

RORY: Im not jumping in the lake.

JESS: No underwater dining, got it.

RORY: Now what?

JESS: Now we sit.

RORY: Here?

JESS: Yup.

RORY: On the bridge, thats where were gonna eat?

JESS: Yup.

RORY: Okay.

JESS: Yeah, I like this place.

RORY: Wow. A place in Stars Hollow you actually like. Im stunned.

JESS: Its got some good memories. You see right over there?

RORY: Yup.

JESS: Thats where Luke pushed me in.

RORY: Huh.

JESS: Yeah.

RORY: Its nice.

JESS: It is.

RORY: So whyd you do it?

JESS: Do what?

RORY: Outbid Dean like that.

JESS: I dont know. I guess it started as a joke just to bug him, but then he just got so mad, you know? And he is so tall, and I just was looking at him and hes standing there all tall and mad and I just. . .I dont know. It was. . .it was really funny.

RORY: It wasnt funny.

JESS: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didnt intend to do it. Does that make you feel any better?

RORY: I just dont wanna be in a fight with Dean.

JESS: Im sorry about that. You wanna push me in the lake? Its cathartic, I hear.

RORY: Hm, maybe in a little.

JESS: Whatever. So why dont we open this thing?

RORY: Go ahead.

[Jess opens the picnic basket]

JESS: Wow. Not one thing in here that I would remotely consider eating.

RORY: Well, I didnt make it for you. I made it for Dean.

JESS: And Dean wouldve eaten this? [holds up a container]

RORY: Yes, he would have.

[Jess tastes a forkful of the food and makes a face]

JESS: Dean is an idiot.

RORY: Dean never wouldve fallen for that.

JESS: Ah, ha ha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RORY: Ten.

JESS: Ten?

RORY: Yeah but I didnt understand a word of it, so I had to reread it when I was fifteen.

JESS: Ive yet to make it through it.

RORY: Really? Try it. The Fountainhead is classic.

JESS: Yeah, but Ayn Rand is a political nut.

RORY: Yeah, but nobody could write a forty page monologue the way that she could.

JESS: Okay, tomorrow I will try again, and you will. . .

RORY: Give the painful Ernest Hemingway another chance. Yes, I promise.

JESS: You know, Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.

RORY: Why are you only nice to me?

JESS: Excuse me?

RORY: An hour ago you were totally screwing with Dean and now youre totally nice to me.

JESS: You see, its the screwing with Dean - thats an important step to getting here so that I can be nice to you.

RORY: So it was a plan.

JESS: What?

RORY: The whole bidding on my basket, it was a plan.

JESS: Okay, Im officially starving.

RORY: And officially evasive.

JESS: Come on, Ill get you a pizza.

RORY: Answer my question.

JESS: Do you like pepperoni?

RORY: Not going to, are you?

JESS: We can just get it on half if you want.

RORY: Okay, I give, lets go.

JESS: If you insist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JESS: Hello?

RORY: Hi.

JESS: Hi.

RORY: What are you doing?

JESS: Nothing, you?

RORY: Nothing.

JESS: Whyd you call?

RORY: I . . um, I wanted to. . .

JESS: Im glad you called.

RORY: Yeah?

JESS: Yeah.

RORY: Why?

JESS: Because maybe you can explain what the hell this crazy woman is talking about.

RORY: Ah, The Fountainhead.

JESS: Yes. Your fault, and you will pay.

RORY: I promise. Commit to it one more time and if it still is awful for you, I will make it up to you.

JESS: Oh yeah?

RORY: Yeah.

JESS: Okay. Im gonna hold you to that.